Is she a fake baker or is it the thought that counts?

[MissDJ]

************************** UPDATE *******************************​

For our family's Memorial Day cook-out, we successfully avoided another In-Law dessert disaster. As a preemptive strike, my mother asked her to help plan a "build-your-own" Sundae Bar as a dessert option. She did a stellar job -- you can't go wrong with ice cream, assorted toppings, fruit, and whipped cream. The kids loved it and there was no danger of food poisoning or hurt feelings.

Thanks for all your helpful advice and comments!

 

[trefle77]

My roommate does the same thing your in law does but with vastly different results. She loves baking and usually does it from scratch but sometimes whenever she's feeling lazy, she uses the mixes and I guess it's because she's a great baker to start with, it always tastes yummy. She even makes mango pie with canned mango pulp and the pre-made crust from the supermarket and guests always compliment her on it. All she does for that mango pie is boil gelatin and add it but it tastes really good.

 

[mommykerrie]

Yeah, I'd start ASSIGNING things to bring to everyone. The sundae bar thing is a perfect idea ... you just pick up the ingredients! Nobody can mess that up. Dang, I thought I was a beginner, as I often don't measure and just toss things in, but my stuff usually turns out edible!

 

[Mortontfrh]

Wow I really love what you guys did with the Sundae bar, that's an absolutely perfect idea. Sounds like an awesome dessert for the kids, and I'm sure she had fun putting it together!

 

[Ohyesuare]

I agree, great idea with the sundae bar. Nice way to still let her help without hurting her feelings and making things awkward. Some people just don't have the time or patience to make actual homemade desserts and might actually enjoy the lesser quality desserts they make.

 

[NThomas]

You can call her and unskilled baker , but I think it is just rude and snobby to call her a fake baker. Have you ever heard of a book called the Cake Doctot < this is a bood all about hw you can you use cake mix as a fondation for delicous baked goods. Their is also a food network star that has a show called Semi homade. This woman is a trained chef and use short cuts in her daily cooking and baking. This does not make her any less of a chef. Calling someone a fake baker becasue they use mixes has an air of I am better than you

Now as far as her messing up a box mix that is so wrong. Maybe you can offer to spend the day baking with her so she can ler some new skills and recipes.

 

[dorannmwin]

I think that you could tell her that you have plenty of desserts for the function and ask if she might be interested in bringing something else. Just be careful when you do something like that to do it in such a way that her feelings will not be hurt. Family grudges are the grudges that are the hardest to overcome.

 

[OhioTom76]

"Preemptive strike" LOL! damn, that sounds kind of cold!

Those might be the best things she can make though, so perhaps they are the lesser of two evils so to speak. At some point though she should have the common sense to realize the deserts your family is making are much better than the ones she is bringing, and think twice before offering to make hers again unless she ups her game and learns how to do it properly. Maybe at some future gatherings make it a point to bring your own versions of these dishes for her to try. Perhaps she will even ask you for some cooking advice.

One of my friends who also likes to "cook" got on this kick where she wanted to fry all of her tortilla chips from scratch for her parties. It all started when she saw a large bag of uncooked corn tortillas for sale for like a buck something. She figured she could make a whole lot more chips by frying them in small batches herself, than buying bags of cooked chips at the store. She doesn't fry them properly at all, cooks them in too shallow of oil and crowds the pan. They are a greasy rubbery mess, raw on one end and burnt on the other and all stuck together. I just make it a point to bring some regular good quality corn chips as well, and "pretend" I didn't realize she was frying some for the party.

 

[Tina Nord]

That is such a funny story! I don't think we have any bad bakers in our family. I would go with the other suggestions and see if you could guide her into bringing another type of food to keep a "variety" of items for people to choose from. Is there something she is really good at making so you can build her up with that? You know like..."Oh your pasta salad is sooo delicious and everyone would love it, would you mind making some?"

 

[Annabell]

Going to have to agree with most of the other people here, maybe she's just a little intimidated by being in this big family of amazing bakers. I mean, being in the newbie to the family is always rough enough, but it's especially so when there's a situation where everyone is great at something, when you're...not so great. So she may just be trying to be a part of the family, you know?

I would definitely recommend NOT just straight up confronting her about it. She probably already knows her baking isn't the best, and having others confront her about it is going to just make her feel worse. What I would recommend is maybe finding something she has made that is...better than the rest, and compliment her on it. Ask what she did, and then maybe offer a few tips that she could add to it next time. These tips will obviously be things that are going to make it better by, you know, actually usually some 'real' baking techniques, but they could also just be things like 'Ohhh this would go really well with a little hint of cinnamon!' and things like that.So this way you're progressively adding to her abilities.

On the other hand, you could try the the more direct approach. Say that you recently found this great little cookbook that you thought she'd really love! Especially if it is a cookbook which is either focused upon, or has a lot of recipes for things which she has tried in the past.Or say that you recently just tried out a new recipe but it didn't come out as well as you expected. Ask for her advice, and go over the recipe with her. Maybe she can offer some tips herself?

Or as others have said...just ask her if she would prefer bringing something else to the party instead. Not everyone has to be good at baking. Bonus points if you find out what she is really good at-ask the hubby, he'll know-and start saying that you'd really love her to bring whatever dish it is that you know she's quite good at. That way she gets the feeling of actually adding something to the party, without the stress of trying to compare to you guys. AND you've got a really nice dish, say, BBQ chicken wings, which everyone will love, and you'll be able to ask her HER for tips on how she made such a lovely dish!

 

[cupcakesandgummies]

When I'm feeling lazy (like last night), I'll use mixes. I made a mix cake last night and used store frosting. I just wasn't in the mood to deal with mixing everything up to do it from scratch. I usually make my own crust but recently, I found pie crust mix at WinCo and you just fill a big bag with it. All you do is add water to however much you need. That stuff is freaking amazing and it tastes great! I added some of my own stuff to it like Oreo's to make an Oreo pie. It turned out fabulous. I'm the only one in my family aside from my mother who bakes and cooks. The rest of my siblings are just sad sacks who can't/won't do it. I tell them regularly to learn. I feel at this point, since I end up making every pie/cake/cookie in my family, I can be rude, haha.

I'm going to allude to the fact that certain people on my husband's side of the family cannot bake or cook. I won't come right out and say it, no. But let's just say that I can spin circles around them all

 

[sweetkymom]

Shortcuts are often great, if not better, than some real homemade creation, when made properly. I would not cause drama over this bit I would politely fill her in on the problem. She may not know there's a problem until someone enlightens her.

 

[loraanna]

Honestly let her think she can bake if she wants. It doesn't hurt you if no one eats her food. She will get the hint when she see's her desserts left on the table. If you say something it will hurt her feeling and possibly start drama in the family.

 

[Tigress]

lol thanks for your post.. it sounds exactly like my old work friend who pretended to love baking but.. well she wasn't good at it and I'm not sure she even liked it. Oh well who am I to judge.